Book - Happier

There are several types of people who are working to be happy. The "rat racer" learns to focus on the next goal rather than on present experience. The "rat racer" is not rewarded for enjoying the journey itself but for the successful COMPLETION of a journey. The "rat racer", confusing relief with happiness, continues to chase after his goals, as though simply attaining them will be enough to make him happy.

The "hedonist" equates effort with pain and pleasure with happiness and goes about satisfying desires, giving little or no thought to future consequences.

The "nihilist" is a person who has given up on happiness. They have become resigned to the belief that life has no meaning and are chained to the past. These people have learned helplessness and learned it easily. "When we fail to attain a desired outcome, we often extrapolate from that experience the belief that we have no control over our lives or over certain parts of it. Such thinking leads to despair."

Another quote from the book: "To expect CONSTANT happiness, is to set ourselves up for failure and disappointment. Not everything we do can provide us both present and future benefit. It is sometimes worthwhile to forgo present benefit for greater future gain, and in every life some mundane work is unavoidable." The objective is to spend as much time as possible engaged in activities that provide both present and future benefit.

Attaining lasting happiness requires that we enjoy the JOURNEY on our way toward a DESTINATION we deem valuable. Happiness is not about making it to the peak of the mountain nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain; HAPPINESS IS THE EXPERIENCE OF CLIMBING TOWARD THE PEAK.

Book Study - Happiness

My latest reading is in a book titled "Happier" by Tal Ben-Shahar. My goal is to finish the book working through the exercises in the book. Unfortunately, I can slip into negativity very easily. I work at staying positive and I am envious of people who are "happy" all the time. Knowing there is no easy answer, I picked up this book to see if it could offer any insight.

The author states his "objective in writing this book is to raise awareness of the general principles underlying a happy and fulfilling life".

One of the interesting statements is: "Even in less severe situations - a disappointment, a difficult spell at work or within a relationship - it may be unhelpful to ask a person to focus on the pursuit of happiness. The best we may be able to do under some circumstances is to experience the negative emotions and allow them to take their natural course." I think that some people experience too fully the negative emotions and let them control their lives. I hope to NOT be one of those people.

Am I happy? That is a question that lends itself to a black/white situation. Either I am or I'm not. So, the author restates the question to "How can I become happier?"

The exercise at the end of this chapter is to write down five things that made or make you happy. So here goes.

Today, my kitty cats made me happy. They love me and I know it. I love to watch them play. Bandy was trying to help me change the sheets on the bed. Sassy used to do that. I miss her and Blue Cat, but my three current kitties make me happy.

Today, I spent time with my husband. Yes, we can get on each others nerves. (See how I automatically bring up something negative?) We spent time together. We had breakfast together, went shopping and he cooked dinner tonight. I am so very lucky to have a partner like him and he does make me happy.

Number 3 didn't happen today, but I think of it often and it makes me smile. I was traveling on the interstate the other day and was behind a school bus. A guy on a motorcycle passes by and waves to the kids. A few minutes later, another motorcycle passes and he waves and guns his bike and goes on with his day. Obviously, the kids were waving, but these two adults made those kids day. It makes me smile.

Number 4 happened one day after a CNFM show. Kevin and I were at Perimeter Mall and we were leaving out of the parking lot. There was a lady backing out of a spot, a lady coming towards us and the lady coming towards us flags us down. She tells us we can have that parking spot. Kevin explained we were leaving and she said she wanted to let us know if we wanted the spot, we could have it. Her and her friend were going to park on the other side of the mall. That makes me smile when I think about it.

Number 5 - When Lindsay and Brooke smile and laugh when they see me, it makes me happy.

Exercise done.

I like listening to the rain

The little tropical storm named Ida is passing through Georgia and it's been raining all day. I'm cuddled up with my three kitty cats and I'm listening to the rain. It's so calming.

My hubby tells me I'm weird and morbid, but hey - he's the one that want's to go storm chasing!

I don't like thunder and lightning and I really don't like those with the wind blowing. A slow, steady rain hitting the leaves on the trees and the roof is soothing.

Evidently, the kitties like it too!

I’m sick of political ads and I approved this message.

I'm sick of political ads and I approved this message. I saw this on a tshirt and I liked the saying. It’s past major election time this year and “my” candidate didn’t get elected. It doesn’t matter what party I wanted to get into office. And it really doesn’t matter what I think ‘cause they are going to do what they want to do no matter what “I” want.

Do I have an opinion? Of course I do and I do talk about it with some, albeit very few. I have no problem expressing my opinion when I think it’s going to do good, or the person I’m talking to is REALLY listening. But political debates with friends and acquaintaces? No way! It’s a waste of my energy and time.

My hubby is a wonderful debater and very passionate about his views. Just because he is very passionate should not imply that I cannot make up my own mind. It also should not make anyone believe that he made up my mind for me.

I’ve (sort of) paid attention to politics in the past years. I know how to read and I know how to research. But more importantly, I know how to read and research about all views of a subject. I do not immerse myself into material covering only 1 point of view.

There is no moral to this rant.